Whether to laugh or cry?

Fig's kidneys are slowly failing him. As their function deteriorates, they seem to be working overtime, for Fig has become a prodigious - and unpredictable - urinator. Sometimes I feel as though I am singlehandedly keeping the manufacturers of clumping catbox litter afloat, as I scoop out enormous clumps from his boxes on a daily basis. Along with an increase in volume has come a decrease in control, especially when Fig is picked up.

Recently a friend picked up Fig while we were in the kitchen, holding him under his front legs and supporting his back with the other hand. I glanced over and was dismayed to see a stream of urine spouting up and across the kitchen. "He's peeing!" I shouted, and my friend, caught by surprise, turned to face me, not knowing that Fig was hosing down the decks. The two of them had the effect of a fire hose. I jumped back as the stream narrowly missed me, and Fig was quickly carried over to the sink to finish his business. A good deal of mopping, scouring, and disinfecting followed, during which time I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. His incontinence will only get worse as his disease progresses. On one level, it is only urine, heavily diluted at that, and can be cleaned. On another level, though, it is a reminder that the day is coming when other systems will fail, and I will have to make a difficult decision. And, to be honest, it is sad to think that I cannot freely pick Fig up and hold him on my lap. At least not unless I am prepared for a warm, wet lap that instantly turns cold.

Hmm...do they make Depends for cats? What do other people do when their sick pets are constantly urinating, defecating, or vomiting?